It Takes A Village

Adam Toledo's death in Chicago may be the latest in a series of police-involved fatalities that have twisted our nation into knots, but it surely won't be the last. Even as I begin writing this, I know there may be another such incident that splashes across screen and paper before this ever gets finished.

We are a curious people, connecting dots where they don't exist. One incident is like the other, we say. It's all about police brutality or it's all about the lack of personal responsibility. Throw in a lack of parental/adult guidance and morality and you have the underpinnings of a society so divided, that the word "divided" is no longer accurate to describe this mess.

It did take a village to create this state of being. We come to each story with a history of our own biases. We got here by chance, some who have had a strong upbringing with traditional values and the others who have travelled the same general arc but along varying different paths. Along the way, each of us has gathered our own truths that we are reticent to deny.

These fragments of our being have been stitched together by laws, some formal and others deemed "common sense." They are the only blueprint this nation cannot afford to abandon.

One of those lawful truths is respect. It comes in all forms, but the most basic is that of each other, In terms of a civil society, for better or worse, that respect needs to be applied to those who uphold the law. And no, they are not always perfect. Most everyone has a story of a person in authority -- be it a cop, a parent, a teacher, a boss, etc. -- who made them feel disrespected in the moment. There also are ways to address those perceptions without escalating it to a fatal mistake.

Those who hold certain individuals to a lesser standard do them, or any of us, no favors. We all know what constitutes a successful life. Essential elements include a nurturing childhood, a strong base of education that blends technical knowledge and freedom of thought as well as an opportunity to become a contributing member of society.

Of course not everyone has or will have all of these elements and more for a variety of reasons. But why do we find ourselves arguing about whether these essentials are privileged standard? These are essentials of life. In addition, there is no doubt that no matter how good someone has it, there will be some who eschew their opportunities. They take an almost sure bet for happiness and turn it into a less than a 50-50 proposition.

What we know of Adam Toledo from third party media accounts -- based on recent history, accounts that are less and less reliable -- he had a far-from-perfect 13 years of life prior to his fatal moment. In that instant, a cop who took an oath to uphold the law and a wayward youth guided into a twisted lifestyle by those of their own misguided journey intersected in a gritty-dark alley.

A loser in that breathtaking confrontation was inevitable. It did not have to be an inevitability. Neither does our divided consciousness of such moments. The worn stitches of our society need repair and reinforcement. If we choose to ignore that, there will be nothing left to do.